weather

Every morning feels like a hangover, I feel numb all over.
I haven't been doing much besides hanging out with my high school buddies the past few days.

I realized that for the past few years of my life, I kept searching for something. I never knew what something was. I never knew what something would mean to me in future. I just wanted something that would give my life weight. Something that I could cling onto and take me away from my life of desperation and cold solitude of endless dreams.

I guess I was just waiting for something to happen to me.
And something did happen to me.

Sometimes, I find it so difficult to breathe in this world I choose to mute myself. When I'm just too tired, I would usually vanish into my bedroom like a stranger in my own home. Other times, I just opt to go into a global chill-mode.

Most of the time, I would just sleep. I find sleeping the perfect escape from reality. While I'm sleeping, the outside world disappears and I'm in total control of my own elegantly devised universe.

Lately, I've been feeling somewhat like an oddball, something of the exception no one can understand. Ah.. maybe it's the weather.

There's nothing wrong with me, don't worry. I'm fine (besides being physically drained).
I just felt like verbalizing some of my thoughts tonight.

I'm just random, you know?
I guess it's just one of those days..

Good night.

Poh Sim, Ng.